The Mastermind aka Billy Pilgrim
Lead Vocals - Guitar Billy Pilgrim was born in the band green room of the Side Track Roadhouse Bar & Stage, where his mother, Roxy, had tended bar since Jesus was a cowboy. That night, with her six-inch heels braced against two beer kegs, vintage pineapple earrings swaying beneath what local consensus held was the biggest bouffant in the county, she went into labour. With the help of a second-year nursing student attending a bridal party, a hostess on her third shift who cried uncontrollably, and a Filipino cook still wearing his kitchen apron, they somehow managed to bring Billy into the world. It all traced back to the dubious chemistry of tequila and Zeke Thunders, aka Dwayne Kaplanski, lead singer and undisputed king of three-and-a-half guitar chords. His band had played the Roadhouse exactly three trimesters earlier. After the final set, an unrequested encore, and a near-criminally long rendition of Free Bird, Roxy and Zeke created their own rock-and-roll masterpiece in the back coatroom, wedged between hastily stacked Christmas, Valentine’s, and St. Patrick’s Day decorations and a wall of peeling promotional posters. Their flagrante amore was cut short when a posse of bounty hunters and furious bill collectors, who’d been tracking the band for a month, stormed the bar to repossess everything that wasn’t nailed down. As it turned out, Zeke owed every music store in the county, the local Chevy dealer, a savings and loan in Amarillo, two ex-wives, and the IRS. Before Roxy could say, “Call me,” Zeke had grabbed her car keys and disappeared out the back door. The stage was stripped clean. All Roxy found was a battered 1972 MXR Distortion pedal with a busted gain knob permanently welded to “full.” She gave it to Billy on his twenty-first birthday. And that’s why Billy still plays at full scream, chasing the perfect sound on the perfect stage in the perfect bar at the side of the road. |
The Axeman aka Pierce Fox
Lead Guitar - details coming soon.... |
The Muscle aka Dan Paterson aka Uncle Dan Bass - Vocals Identified by: Handlebar Moustache, Serious Ink, Travels with 2 Bass Guitars & TheBlonde, Whiskey Drinker Known Hideouts: Bars, Clubs, Music Venues |
The Demo Man aka Wayne Groves
Drums - vocals Identified by: a migrating hairline, large stature, dark (but friendly) sense of humor. Free spirit, nomadic in and is frequently spotted traveling with old Orange drums of unknown origin claiming guidance by his ancestors. Known Hideouts: Repair garages, gyms, music stores and studios, often nursing a fresh cup of tea. Has a soft spot for cats and an unhealthy disdain for fedoras worn by people under the age of 70 (psychiatric treatment is ongoing). |
